Facing FEAR

I recently moved away from the only home I have ever known, I moved across an ocean. Moving was a leap of faith, I had to face the unknown and my own fears of those unknowns. I remember a conversation I had with my husband, Josh, when we were moving about how we wanted to face fears in our lives. If we could face the fear of the unknown, we could face other fears. I remember telling him I was sick of dumb fears stopping me from living. I was thinking of silly things like, my fears of my kids surfing big waves were sharks live or fears of white kids getting bullied by Hawaiian kids. True fears of mine but one’s I, in and of myself can face. But when you tell God you are ready for something, He doesn’t just hit those small things. This is a God who told Gideon twice to send soldiers home so Israel would know that the battle is won by God and not by the small three hundred that were left.  God in His loving kindness has taken me and told me, “you want to face your fear, here is your greatest fear; let’s face it.”

I grew up in Sunny San Diego just south of Hollywood. There women can be more plastic then flesh. They literally put thousands and possibly millions into their physical presentation.  Why? What would possibly motivate a woman to do this to herself; fear. Fear that their natural state is not acceptable, desirable or good enough. I have always taken a stance against a Hollywood kind of women. I want my daughters to have an example of a woman who loves and accepts her natural state, even as she ages. But what I have come to realize is I am still a women covered in plastic. In a women’s group, a lady shared how sculptors used to sell broken statues as perfect ones by covering the cracks with wax. I realized this is me.

Google defines FEAR as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. The Bible defines fear in 1 John 4:18 as the opposite of love. My greatest fear wasn’t sharks but am I excepted, am I loved? Not the waxed, polished me but  the natural, cracked me. Can someone see me, really see me and still Love me. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.” God wants to take my fear but I have to let go of it. I have to remove the plastic, melt down the wax and let the love of God take away my fear.

I am reminded of the story of Mephilbosheth, He was not perfect. See he was left lame, his legs were broken and un-useable. But King David loved Mephilbosheth and took a broken man and placed him among princes. At King David’s table Mephilbosheth wasn’t a broken man, he was a beloved son. David didn’t care that he wasn’t perfect. He didn’t hide who Mephilbosheth was;  he just placed him with his children and expected them to love him.  I have been in churches were sins were hushed and frowned upon. Everyone was a waxed statue perfectly polished. 1 John 1: 7-10 “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.” As a Christian ,I should be honest about who I am; imperfect, broken and I should bean example of King David’s table an excepting place for the broken.